What are the basic rights and duties of husband towards his wife?
Query:
What are the basic rights and duties of husband towards his wife?
Answer:
Just as Almighty Allah has made some duties of the wife towards the husband, he has also made some duties of the husband towards his wife. To fulfil these duties is an obligation and means of great blessing.
Almighty Allah says in the Holy Quran, There are rights of the husband upon the wife just as there are rights of the wife upon the husband, with kindness.
The Beloved Rasool ﷺ said,
The best amongst you are those who are kind towards their wives.
[Mishkaat Shareef, Volume 2 Page 280]
It is also mentioned in the Hadith Shareef that,
No believing man should harbour any hatred and ill-feeling towards a believing women, for if any of her actions seem bad, then she also has in her traits of goodness.
[Mishkaat Volume, 2 page 280]
This Hadith means, that if a wife has some shortcomings in her, then it does mean that everything about her is not good. She definitely has some good qualities as well. The husband should thus praise her good qualities and try to rectify her shortcomings.
Some of a Husband’s Duties Towards His Wife:
It is the responsibility upon every husband, to provide for her food, clothes, house and all other provisions. One must always think that she is a servant of Allah who is in my Nikah, and she has left her parents and everything else for me. She should thus be properly taken care of.
It is also necessary for the husband to fulfil his right as the husband towards his wife, in the sense of satisfying her womanly desires, so that she does not turn towards sin and adultery. This, thus means that the husband should not stay away from his wife for lengthy periods of time.
A man should not separate his bed from his wife without reason. Yes, if she acts contrary to his command or against the Shariah intentionally, then he may do so.
This however, should not be to cause her pain and torment, but so that she may realise her wrong doing. It is in the books of Fiqh that a husband may caution his wife by separating his bed etc.
If She refuses to dress neatly and beautify herself for him.
Her husband desires her and she refuses without valid reasons.
She does not take Ghusl after intimacy or after her menstrual periods etc.
She does not perform her Namaaz (Salaah) or any other Fard Ibaadat without a valid reason.
Some Advice To A Husband:
A man should never look at another woman with evil intention and should never praise the beauty of other women to his wife, and no wife should praise the handsomeness of another man before her husband.
The husband must correct the mistakes of his wife and if she does not accept, then he may be strict.
When going on a journey, the husband should inform his wife, and show her affection, and comfort her before he leaves on a journey.
When the wife cooks him a meal, he should not criticize what she has made, but should eat it to please her. If there is something that he does not like he should tell her with love and respect, and not mock or hurt her feelings.
If she becomes ill, then it is necessary for him to care and comfort her, so that she is able to feel that he loves and cares for her.
He should have faith and trust in his wife and she should have the same faith and trust in him. Both should not false accuse one another, as this leads to the breakup of the marriage and is a sinful act.
The husband should also always be clean and dress well when with his wife. He should not embarrass her or shout and threaten her in the presence of others.
The husband should not shout at and scold his wife for petty issues and neither should the wife pick on him over petty issues.
If there is any dispute between the husband and the wife, they should try to resolve this by themselves amicably, and if it is not resolved, then it should be put before the elders for advice.
A man should never be hasty in giving Talaaq to his wife. He should let his anger subside before he makes any decision. He must think with a calm mind.
The Beloved Rasool ﷺ said, ‘Amongst those things which are Halaal, the one most disliked by Allah is Talaaq. [Abu Dawood]
If a person has more than one wife (not more than four), then he must be just (fair) with all of them, and care for them equally. To take care of one and neglect the others is a sin.
References
Extracts from Bahar e Shariat of Sadr al Shariah, Allama Amjad Ali Aazmi.
Sunan Abu Dawood & Mishkaat.
[ English Translation ]
Mufti Afthab Cassim al-Qadri Ridawi Noori,
Imam Mustafa Raza Research Center,
Durban, South Africa.